


Death Is Not Fair

by sidebysidewithafriend



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Established Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22487764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidebysidewithafriend/pseuds/sidebysidewithafriend
Summary: Life isn’t fair… and neither is death.To say that it sucks to be immortal and date a mortal would be an understatement.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	Death Is Not Fair

**Author's Note:**

> *posts this as my first work to let you all know i'm an evil writer* 
> 
> if you're looking for fluff i'll post some of that too eventually i promise 
> 
> also this is technically based on the show but it's not set after a particular episode. just sometime after episode 3x05
> 
> hope you enjoy!

It wasn’t fair. Then again, life wasn’t fair. 

And neither was death. 

It shouldn’t have happened. It should have been a simple mission. The scans and all the reports had said there was just one demon in the area. It was a larger, stronger demon, and would’ve put up a good fight, but it was still practically nothing to a Shadowhunter like Alec. 

There had been three. 

When he hadn’t reported back after an hour, they went looking. That was when they found his body. 

Magnus hadn’t found out until that evening, when Alec hadn’t come home, hadn’t sent any messages. Izzy and Jace hadn’t texted either. He came to the Institute to ask Izzy, and found her curled up in a corner, dazed with shock. 

When she told him, it was all he could do to process the information. 

Some stuffy Clave representative had been sent in to take command. Said stuffy representative found Magnus there and threw him out, paying no heed to Izzy’s protests. Magnus himself was too numb to say a word. 

Unsurprisingly, he wasn’t invited to the funeral. Izzy texted him the time anyway, and he slipped in the back, invisible to the Shadowhunters.

Jace barely managed to say “Alexander Lightwood” before breaking down. As the Shadowhunters chorused “Ave atque vale. Hail and farewell”, Magnus said nothing. Silently he said his own farewell, trying to keep quiet the sobs that threatened to choke him. As the wisp of white - Magnus knew this was that which made Alec Alec - rose from the white shroud, he could stand it no longer. He turned and half-ran from the hall, not caring if his footsteps were heard. The clean, cold ceremony seemed all wrong. He’d heard many times that Shadowhunters considered emotions nothing but a distraction, that they would not let grief or anything else stand in the way of duty. He knew they considered death little more than a fact of life. Most of the Shadowhunters would move on quickly. 

And he hated it. 

Hanging by the bed was Alec’s shirt, blue with a white pattern. It had once belonged to Magnus, but he had been content to let Alec keep it. It suited him. 

They’d intended to celebrate their anniversary tomorrow, and Alec had specifically decided he wanted to wear that shirt. It was his favourite. Or had been. 

Only half-aware of what he was doing, Magnus snapped his fingers, replacing his white funeral shirt with the blue-and-white one. The sleeves, fitted to Alec’s longer arms, fell partially over his hands. He stared at them. The rings on his fingers blurred into glints of light, save just one finger. He’d hoped it might bear a wedding ring one day. Now that would never happen. 

Tears blurred his vision and he stumbled forward, collapsing across the made bed. The oblivion of sleep was a welcome one. 

~ 

_some months later_

Magnus lay on his back, staring at his bedroom ceiling in the darkness. The clock beside him said that it was 4:21 in the morning. Not a respectable hour by any stretch of the imagination, but although his eyelids kept drooping he couldn’t sleep properly. Every time he drifted off he dreamt Alec was sleeping beside him, which wouldn’t have been so bad if the dreams hadn’t changed, every time, to Alec lying alone on a street somewhere, bleeding out from deep demon-claw gashes. 

The next time he drifted off and subsequently jerked himself awake, he decided it was useless to stay there. He got up, slipped a robe around his shoulders and padded into the living room. Alec’s bow, broken in two, lay in a corner. He’d intended to do something with it, maybe hang it on the wall, but he hadn’t decided what. He hadn’t found the energy to do so in any case. It had been left on his doorstep, along with Alec’s Lightwood family ring, after the funeral. Some cynical part of him had observed that this had probably only been done because the objects could not be easily reused. He stared at it for a moment, tears pricking his eyes. 

“At some point you need to leave the past in the past,” said a soft voice behind him. He turned, startled, to see Alec. 

_I must be dreaming. Alexander is gone._

But Alec’s arms as he embraced Magnus felt real enough. Magnus clung to him like he would never let go, Alec’s well-worn black sweater soft against his cheek. 

“I don’t want you to be just an arrowhead in a box. I didn’t think you’d want that,” Magnus murmured. “I don’t want to forget you. I couldn’t.” 

“I don’t want you to grieve forever,” Alec said quietly. “I want you to be happy again. I want you to live.” 

“I need you.” 

Alec hugged him a little tighter. “I’ll always be here.” 

Magnus nodded slightly. Alec pulled him sideways a few steps until they sat down together on the sofa. Magnus curled up in Alec’s arms, feeling his eyelids start to close again. “Don’t go,” he whispered. 

“I’ll always be here,” Alec repeated. “I promise.” 

Once Magnus had fallen asleep, Alec gently disentangled himself and stood up, staring down at Magnus with a sad smile. 

A few seconds later it was not Alec who stood there, but Tessa Gray. Hoping she had done the right thing, she walked quietly to the bedroom and returned the black sweater to the closet where she had found it. 

What she had said was true. Alec would always be there, at least in spirit. But still she hated to see Magnus like this; as long as she could remember, he’d always been confident, a big personality. Curled up here on the couch, he seemed so small. 

It wasn’t fair. 

Then again, such was the nature of life.


End file.
